Ever have one of those days?

	A friend sent this to me in an email recently.  I think the message is loud and clear.  How often we forget.

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Me (in a tizzy) : God, can I ask you something?

GOD: Sure.

Me: Promise you won't get mad?

GOD: I promise.

Me (frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

GOD: What do you mean?

Me: Well I woke up late,

GOD: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start,

GOD: Okay....

Me (growling): At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait

GOD: Hmmmm..

Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call

GOD: All right

Me (loudly): And to top it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my foot massager and relax, but it wouldn't work. Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

GOD: Well let me see..... the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me (humbled): Oh...

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you if you were on the road

Me (ashamed): ............

GOD: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work

Me (embarrassed): Oh.....

GOD: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give a false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered

Me (softly): I see God

GOD: Oh and that foot massager, it had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God.

GOD: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.........in all things, the good and the bad

Me: I WILL trust you God

GOD: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.

GOD: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children.
Scriptural References: II Samuel 22:31, Proverbs 3:5, Hebrews 2:13

My WORD for 2012

As I entered this new year I noticed many of my online friends sharing what word the Lord had impressed upon their hearts to be their daily focus.  During the years of my regular blogging this has been something many of us have done and we shared our words and later shared how the Lord worked in our lives over time to teach us the true meaning of the word He'd given.

I didn't really search out a word, but I knew change was what I wanted.  I was tired of the extra pounds I had gain, tired of my lack of exercise, and tired of being 51 yet feeling much older on most days.

I set a goal for the new year to try to get a bit healthier.  I began on January 1st by instituting a daily exercise routine.  Although it was slow and very beginner like I knew I needed to begin somewhere.  I agreed with some friends to be held accountable for the next four weeks as to what I was eating, drinking, and how much exercise I was actually doing.

I was sure God was telling me that CHANGE was my word.  I didn't like it.  I didn't want to know what else would come with such a tough word.

It's been almost a month into this new way of life.  I've lost some weight slow but sure and feel a sense of accomplishment as I watch my clothes loosen up a bit and my body feel stronger. Yet, slowly I could hear that still small voice telling me that change was not what the Lord was leading me to.  Although changing my lifestyle was huge, it was not meant to be my word for the year.

Today I realize that the Lord has lead me to a word that I know without doubt is meant for me to focus on and meditate on daily.  My word for 2012 is humility.

It's funny how God works.  He slowing and steadily was showing me that being proud is a sin.  It's wrong to be proud in the face of others about what you know, who you know, and the things you have accomplished.  I believe the Lord desires for me to reflect Christ in all things and pride is the complete opposite of what Christ is.  Not only does the Lord desire for pride to be cast out of my life, but He desires for pride to never be held up as a substitute for His goodness and His grace.

I recently read that many people have the wrong idea about God, the Bible and humility, or being humble. They think being humble means groveling in front of others or thinking we're no good and others are good.  That’s not how the Bible demonstrates being humble. 

God says when you are humble, you are free from pride and arrogance. You know that in your flesh you are inadequate, yet you also know who you are in Christ.  You are able to be a peacemaker without needing to fight for your rights. You are able to walk humbly in the power of God’s Holy Spirit, not your own personal power.   

Godly humility is being comfortable with who you are in the Lord and therefore putting others first. The meaning of humility in the Bible is one of loving others.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3).

Being humble allows me to not feel the need to always be right in every argument, nor do I need to always win.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1)

Being humble means that I can respond to unfair treatment without being overcome by bitterness.  I do not need revenge.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:31-32).
 

Being humble means that I do not have to act like a big shot.  Because in knowing God I have nothing to prove.  I can also deal with my failures without being emotionally hurt.

Being humble allows me to ask for forgiveness no matter how much or how little I might have been wrong.

Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:23-24).

Being humble allows me to talk with a gentle spirit and in love even if it means I need to be firm and strong.  Again, I do not need to prove anything.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Ephesians 4:29).

Being humble allows me to act in a godly manner and therefore I will not regret my words or my actions.     

So, with all this being said, I can only pray that each day the Lord reveals these things to me in such ways that I cannot close my eyes to them, but rather have a teachable heart and a heart that is open to change (there is that word again).  May I be a teachable child of the King and may humility be seen in the things I say and do.  I have a long road to walk and much to learn, but in Christ all things are possible.

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).  

Looking back at 2011

I entered 2011 with a word for the year, I felt the Lord directing me to the word "found".  I knew in my heart that I needed to be found changed in many ways.  I longed to be changed spiritually.  My life was in a dry place and renewal was one of my hearts deepest desires.

Today as I look back I can see huge changes that occurred throughout the year, not just for me, but my family as well.  Some things we walked through were pure joy and some were very full of pain.  Through it all I truly have found myself walking closer to the Lord, thankful and very full of hope for the new year that lies ahead.  I am counting my blessings and naming them one by one.


Our family was blessed with a year like none other.  Over the past ten years one or more of our daughters has lived out of state.  This year we enjoyed more visits than ever.  We started things off with an unexpected trip home from Beto and Lindsey in February.  They spent a few days here in Michigan getting a taste of winter weather.  This was a first in all the years they've been together.

In March we took a much unexpected trip to Dallas to be with Jenna after the breakup of her engagement only two months before her wedding day.  It was a difficult trip, but one completely set in motion by the Lord.  The month of May brought us back to Dallas, along with my 81 year old parents, to spend the week that would have been Jen's wedding.  We did plenty of celebrating that there was no wedding.  Along with the heat of summer August brought Dave back to Texas for two weeks of work and time to see the kids.

The fall brought us to Chicago to help Alfred and Alicia move in preparation for Alfred starting school for nursing.  After winning a free flight through Orbitz on Twitter we booked a flight for Dave as well and made a September visit to the Lone Star state for a few more days.

In November we found ourselves on the road for a 17 hour road trip for Thanksgiving.  This time the entire family, all five kids, Dave and I were together.  Although we were only there for about three days it was wonderful!

I never dreamed we would be so blessed to all be together again for Christmas.  All five kids came home!  It's been years since we've all been together for Thanksgiving and Christmas.  My heart was bursting as I sat and looked at my entire family around the table on Christmas night.  My parents joined us as well and the tears fell as Dave thanked the Lord for everyone being together.


My photographer daughter knows the joy it brings to me whenever I get new pictures of my family.  Since we are so far apart the photos are treasures to me and I have them all over my  house.  Our Thanksgiving trip was the perfect time to grab a  photo shoot.  Christmas brought me a wonderful assortment of new pictures for my home thanks to Lindsey Joy.

Dave and I have had a good year.  Although the pain of being apart from Jenna during one of the roughest times in her life was huge, we saw the Lord peeling layers of blinders from her eyes and bringing her into a new and better life.  We found a new church to attend and after years of being one of thousands we are now two in the midst of what I call our church family.  This has been a huge answer to my prayers.

I am more than blessed to have such a wonderful guy by my side.  He sees me through the good and the bad.  There is no one I'd rather walk through this life with.  He loves me so unconditionally that at times I feel so undeserving.  He loves his kids and is a devoted dad.

 

Beto and Lindsey have had a year blessed with their business growing and continuing to prosper.  They love being photographers and do an outstanding job at it.  We couldn't be more proud of their hard work and talent. They have been married for more than six years and are totally and completely in love.

 

Alfred and Alicia have had a year jammed full of work, school, work and more school.  Alicia continues to thrive at her job at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago.  Her long commute baffles me, but she never complains.  Alfred has just completed his master's degree while working up to three jobs around the clock.  This next year will be a whole new challenge as Alfred has been accepted to nursing school, another answer to many prayers.  They have been married over three years and are also a beautiful mirror of what love and marriage should be all about.

Jenna's year has been so life changing it's hard to put into words.  After getting through the breakup of her engagement she's found herself busy with work and attending the University of North Texas.  She's happy and thriving in her life.  We look forward to seeing what's in store for the new year for her.  She will be moving back in with Beto and Lindsey in a couple of weeks while she's paying for college.  We feel blessed to see her life heading in a good direction and to know she has family that loves her and are there for her during this season in her life.  We miss her like crazy.

Here we are at the end of a very full year.  I feel as though the Lord has filled my cup to overflowing.  The moments spent with my family have been the ones that have seen me through.  I've learned to live life and enjoy life with my kids all far away, but there is still nothing as sweet to a mom's heart as being with her family.

I am thankful for the blessing of family, the most important thing to me. It's a crazy bunch we have filled with much laughter and love.  I'm so thankful for sweet memories to keep me going until whenever the next visit might be.

Happy New Year everyone!

I hope you have found yourself changed during 2011 and may you find all that the Lord has ready to bless you with in 2012.

A little lack of sleep, lots of food, and a full heart

Last Tuesday at 2AM we peeled our eyes open, showered, hopped in the car and headed on a road trip.  The excitement was so strong that within about an hour I had drifted back to sleep as Dave drove the car south for our 17 1/2 hour trip to Dallas Texas. I am not a morning person so sleep was the best place for me to be.

We passed this brand of truck many times and I snapped a pic because it's my dad's name.  As excited as I was to be with my family in the south I would be missing my extended family back here at home.

The weather was good the first part of the drive and the only downer was that I was fighting a migraine.  I ended up sicker than usual and I'm sure the lack of sleep and stressing over leaving my job at the holiday were the cause of it.  Bless Dave's heart for being so great and driving the entire trip without a single complaint.  He's always so good to me when I'm battling head pain.

We hit some rain along the way, but still made good time stopping only to get gas and take the much needed restroom breaks.

We had hoped to stop in Wagoner, Oklahoma to see our friends Susan and Mickey, but I was just so sick.  Bless Leigh Ann's heart for letting Susan know we would not be stopping on the way down.  I had to laugh how I connected with a friend in Pennsylvania to let a friend in Oklahoma know that we would not be stopping.  Crazy?  Maybe so, but it worked.  (Thanks again Leigh Ann)

We did snap a picture of the Wagoner water tower just to prove we were really there and also of the MacD's were we met Susan and Mickey two years ago on our quick stop while heading to Texas.  See Susan, I really was thinking about you.

We arrived at the kids around 7:30ish PM on Tuesday night.  Beto, Lindsey, and Jenna were waiting for us and ready to serve us up some hot homemade soups which were so yummy after eating on the road.  The next day Alfred and Alicia flew in from Chicago.  I almost couldn't contain myself that the whole family was together after three years.  I didn't want to drive everyone crazy so I tried to just keep my enthusiasm to myself.

Later that day after much wardrobe deliberations by the girls we headed to a gorgeous spot to do some family photos.  Our last family picture was taken at Alfred and Alicia's wedding over 3 years ago.

Lindsey and Beto set us up and got everyone in order.  I had my little point and shoot along just to capture a few candids.  The good photos are yet to be seen.  Lindsey's working on that right now.  I wanted separate pictures of the kids as couples and of Jenna.  I haven't had a new photo of her in some time. She likes to change her look so my current ones don't really look like her.

Beto has found a love for Dave's medium format camera that he used for many years.  It shoots film and Beto has been having fun with it.  Film, it's a thing of the past, but a new thing for our kids.  It's like listening to albums on Beto's turn table.  Huh, I thought those things were antiques?  Yet our kids love the record player.  Go figure.


These two have been married for over six years and are still crazy in love. 

Alicia took over the digital to photograph Linds and Beto while Dave got his hands back on his film camera and snapped a few shots.  I loved watching them in action.  Notice the color on the trees.  Michigan has only bare branches at this point waiting for snow to cover them.  Oklahoma was beautiful and spots in Texas as well.

The whole gang.

FINALLY, me and my girls, Alicia, Lindsey, and Jenna.  Yes, this was my greatest blessing and I'm so thankful for each one of them and how very different they all are from each other.

David and his oldest daughter, Lindsey Joy.  The two photographers being photographed by none other than me.

We moved from that location just down the road to the lake.  It was beautiful.  I never knew there was a lake close to where the kids live.  What a great sunset.

David and his daughters.

 My girls, youngest to oldest.  Jenna is not really that much taller, she just had on high heeled boots.  My girls are all quite tall, but pretty even in their heights.


After photos we headed to dinner.  The place we wanted to go to was closed so we went next door to Tillman's.  We had been there before, but not Alfred and Alicia.  The meal was great and the dessert consisted of making your own smores at the table with all homemade ingredients.  Such fun!

A couple of nights Jenna stayed overnight rather than driving all the way to her place.  Thanksgiving morning was a busy time of preparing food.  Jen and Alf got the job of snipping the beans.  Trust me whatever you do with Alfred is an experience.  He is crazy funny and always kept us laughing.  Yeah, he looks all innocent here, but I rather doubt he was that intent on those beans.

Alicia was busy making homemade biscuits in the kitchen.  My family has a tradition of eating biscuits and gravy and it's now a tradition for my girls as well.

Beto and Lindsey getting ready to carve the bird.

Someone in the family LOVES her mashed potatoes.  We had red skinned potatoes this year and I think someone ate them all.  Did you Alicia?  Actually she had her own plate due to an allergy and couldn't eat them prepare the way everyone else's were made.

Dinner was outstanding.  My girls did all the cooking and I was the head cleaner-upper.  That worked pretty well in my book.

Beto's dad joined us as well since his wife was not able to be there.  We snapped the picture before he arrived.

We really enjoyed our time with the kids.  I could have taken tons of photos, but I think these were enough.  The kids spent some time playing Settlers of Catan.  We did a tiny bit of shopping including Black Friday morning for Alf and Alicia.  The rest of the time was just hanging out and having fun together.

Saturday morning we all went out to breakfast before we hit the road for home.  Lindsey came down with tonsillitis on Thanksgiving night and was a real trooper despite a fever and sore throat.  She headed to the doctor right after we left.

One last photo snapped at the restaurant, Alicia and Alfred.  I snapped a few more, but Lindsey was just not feeling well and Alfred was misbehaving on all the rest.

I was not happy to be leaving my family behind.  Actually this is my, "Your mother is getting frustrated with you" look, but Alfred didn't really seem to even notice, LOL.  It was all good fun.

Our long trip to Texas was over all too fast.  Three full days together was far better than spending the holiday without any of our kids.  Although I felt a ton of stress leaving my job during the holiday time my husband knew that getting me to Texas was the only way to have a happy wife.  He was right!  Some things in life cannot be done over.  A holiday with the entire family just never works for us since we all live apart from one another.  This Thanksgiving will be one to hang on to.  We, as a family, never really know when will be the next time we see each other.

I look forward to Christmas in hopes of having the kids all home for at least a few days.  Nothing is quite set in stone yet other than Jen has her plane ticket bought.  I will just try to relax and let it come as it may.

I hope you all had a blessed holiday whether you were with loads of family or none.  I've learned over the years that being together is best, but it's not always doable.  I'm thankful that God in His goodness allowed the plans to be carried out and memories to be made to cherish for years to come.

The pet food aisle

Have you ever wondered why your path crosses the paths of certain people?  I often pray for the Lord to direct my steps and to allow my path to cross with those that might need me in their life at that moment or I might just need them.

Today I was out and about getting my hair beautified and then running a quick errand to Meijer’s to pick up some ingredients for our dinner tonight.  I really didn’t feel like chasing into the store, but knew the next two nights would find me busy with work which usually means a quick and easy meal or take out.  I knew that tonight had better be my night to cook something substantial.

I quickly roamed up and down the aisle trying to complete the list in my hand.  I rarely shop Meijer’s and don’t know where stuff is, but it was on my way home and convenient.   One huge mistake was going in the wrong door needing to use the bathroom only to find it was on the other side of the building.  I decided to try to hold off and get out of there ASAP.

Once I had all of my cooking ingredients I headed for the pet aisle.  Why not get the cat stocked up as long as I was in the store?  I found the food she likes and knelt down to study the labels making sure I bought the right stuff, finicky cat anyway!

Before I knew it an older lady with a cart filled with cat food began yacking my ear off.  She asked what kind of food my “cats” like.  She wondered what kind of “cats” I have.  I politely answered her and started to concentrate more and more on my need to hit the potty.

I started talking to myself in my head as this little old woman told me a very long and drawn out story about having two cats, their ages and habits along with the detail about her dogs.  “Gotta go, gotta go” was all my head was screaming.

She finally shared how they had taken in a stray cat.  The dog was sick and it was necessary to put pills in his food.  The stray began eating the dog’s food only to end up at the vet with a $1800 bill.  OUCH, big bill, OUCH, gotta go!!!

I smiled and tried to act interested.  I wondered if she was just a nut or very lonely lady just needing someone to talk to.  I was not about to tell her that I was on the verge of wetting my pants.  I made the mistake of telling her that my cat had just seen the vet with a urinary infection costing my $200.  Little did I know that she would then share how she, herself, had a urinary infection since July.  She freely shared about her meds and visits to the urologist in detail.  Trust me, talking about all this urinary stuff while needing to “go” was about killing me.

I finally smiled at her, told her I was sorry that she had been dealing with this sickness, encouraged her to trust for health and healing, and then wished her a good day with happy, healthy pets.  Oh my!

As I walked away I asked the Lord why in the world this lady needed to be in my aisle while I needed to get “going”.  He gently reminded me that it is not by mistake that our paths cross the paths of other.  He showed me that all things are in His timing and my prayer to touch the lives of others may not always be according to my agenda for the day, but rather it was His plan that needed to be walked out.

I safely made it home, no accidents on the road or otherwise!  I smiled to myself as I clearly saw that even the smallest of things might just be a huge thing to someone else.  I hope my short and unplanned visit in the pet aisle was just what the Lord ordered for the dear old cat lady with urinary issues.  

Isn’t it funny how life works?  I pray that we never find ourselves in so much of a hurry that we fail to be a small blessing to someone in need.  Who knows, tomorrow might be the day that I need a listening ear and I sure hope someone has the time for me…even if they need to get “going”. 

Reflections

It's been a time of reflection if nothing else.  I've finally been given the chance to go back to my old blogs and save the posts that matter the most to me.

It's been very bittersweet to sit and read about my life and all the transpired over a period of a four years.  My first year of blogging was not retrievable, but the posts that began in 2007 were all there, no photos, but the words that I needed to find were there.

It's been evident that God has shown Himself more than faithful to our family.  We've walked through places that were pure joy: the engagement and wedding of Alfred and Alicia along with many family vacations.  There was a long valley that brought me to my knees in pain and prayer.

It's hard to look back and realize how human I am.  I can see all the mistakes I've made and all the choices that were wrong.  The best part is seeing that even though I stumbled along the path of life, I was never alone nor forsaken. 

The post below was written the fall of Jenna's senior year.  We had no idea what was to lie ahead of us and how much pain we would go through. 

Today I look back with a grateful heart that we made it through that difficult time in our lives.  God has brought me to a new place of hope and belief in the power of prayer. 

From this mom's heart I can say that loving my children has been the easiest and toughest thing in my life.  I can't say I wouldn't change a thing because I would change so many things if I had the ability.  A friend who is battling cancer recently said to me, "I will walk through the valley to get to the other side and plant my flag of victory!"  I can say with a grateful heart that I'm watching my flag blow in the wind.

Reflections

Over the last several days the weather has turned quite cool and the nights feel like fall even though the official calendar still tells us it's considered summer here in Michigan. Once September hits we call it fall, but the cooler days usually don't hit until later in October. The rain has fallen off and on making it damp and just not nice to be outside.

As I look outside my front window where there is a soccer field I see all the little boys in their football gear practicing "rocket" football. Rocket football is for the little guys grades 3 on up. I love seeing them all pumped up acting like the big guys. They clap, hit, run, and stomp acting all grown up. It's just fun to sit and watch them every year.

I can't believe its September already. I'm longing to somehow bring August back. The month came and went taking me by surprise. Things got busy with Alicia moving home. Jenna injured her arm causing her to give up her senior year of tennis. We need the warm days of August to take some senior pictures. It's our last daughter needing senior pictures. No more little pigtails and ribbons. She was so cute with her little pink and blue jacket. Now she is so beautiful and almost eighteen years old. Where did August go?

I love fall more than any other season because the colors in Michigan are glorious, but I'm longing to bring August back.

Jenna, my sweet Jenna...I love you! I love what lies ahead for you. Your future is very bright. I will always long for the days when you sat on my lap and we sang songs together. Jenna, beautiful Jenna, you're the one the only one that I adore. I will cherish this year with you.

It was one of those days.

I woke up with a nagging feelings of being frustrated.  I was convinced that I had somehow hurt someone I love very much and unsure how to handle it.  Some things had transpired months ago and it was subtly brought to my attention that my words and actions may have left a sore spot.

All morning long I fought the feelings of despair. The funny part was that the Lord was showing up at every turn shouting at me loud and clear.  The sad part was I was not quite ready to listen.

I had plans to get together at night with a group of friends from the Praise and Coffee gang.  Sue had invited some of us over to her place for a night of girl time.  I decided to get up and get busy.  I made my list for the grocery store and headed out.  My heart was heavy and my mind just couldn't move past how to mend something that I really didn't even understand.

I came home and got busy baking to take a little treat along to share with my friends.  I flipped over my daily devotional that sits on my kitchen window sill and found the Lord right there. The scripture spoke loud and clear.  "I have set the Lord always before me.  Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.  Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure."  Psalm 16:8-9.  There He was reminding me to set him before me, put him first, and rest secure.  I pondered for a split second and moved on to the ingredients that were scattered on my counter top.

Noticing how quiet it was in my kitchen I headed over to my laptop and found my way to Pandora.  I found a station and headed back to the baking at hand.  The first song that came on was Laura Story singing Grace.  I had not heard this song before, but the very first line caught me right then and there speaking about my proud heart and my unfocused eyes.

Finally I realized the Lord was trying to get my attention.  I had not wanted to believe that I could hurt someone I love so very much.  I wanted to believe that person was wrong, misguided and not understanding me.  Ahh, I needed to do some soul searching.  I needed to look at my own heart and not try to fix the other person's.

The day went on and soon it was time to head to my night out.  I drove the 45 minute drive finding myself in prayer and reflection.  My friend that was going to ride along with me had to cancel and once again I realized the Lord wanted to speak to my heart.  He knew I needed that time alone in the car to be quiet and just listen.

I was broken.  I needed to drop my pride aside and allow the Lord to pick me up one more time.  He reminded me that my actions were far from perfect, but His forgiveness was far more than any mixed up and confusing situation.  I knew in my spirit that I needed to forgive myself.  I needed to stop allowing the enemy to convince me that I was a loser and unloved because of a situation that neither me nor the other person could control at the time.

Life finds a way to keep us busy.  Our ears get close and our eyes lose focus.  The peace comes when we understand that the Lord never leaves us.  He continues to prick our hearts and minds longing to draw us to Him.  I may fall short of His glory over and over, but if I continue to seek His face I will always walk in the power of His daily sufficient grace.

I am not sure the situation is resolved and I cannot confront this person face to face.  I can only seek the Lord to heal and restore, to give grace unending and patience to trust in His timing that restoration will come.

Thank you Lord for Calvary and the gift of grace that is poured out freely on me day after day.