Wednesday, October 19, 2011


It's been a time of reflection if nothing else.  I've finally been given the chance to go back to my old blogs and save the posts that matter the most to me.

It's been very bittersweet to sit and read about my life and all the transpired over a period of a four years.  My first year of blogging was not retrievable, but the posts that began in 2007 were all there, no photos, but the words that I needed to find were there.

It's been evident that God has shown Himself more than faithful to our family.  We've walked through places that were pure joy: the engagement and wedding of Alfred and Alicia along with many family vacations.  There was a long valley that brought me to my knees in pain and prayer.

It's hard to look back and realize how human I am.  I can see all the mistakes I've made and all the choices that were wrong.  The best part is seeing that even though I stumbled along the path of life, I was never alone nor forsaken. 

The post below was written the fall of Jenna's senior year.  We had no idea what was to lie ahead of us and how much pain we would go through. 

Today I look back with a grateful heart that we made it through that difficult time in our lives.  God has brought me to a new place of hope and belief in the power of prayer. 

From this mom's heart I can say that loving my children has been the easiest and toughest thing in my life.  I can't say I wouldn't change a thing because I would change so many things if I had the ability.  A friend who is battling cancer recently said to me, "I will walk through the valley to get to the other side and plant my flag of victory!"  I can say with a grateful heart that I'm watching my flag blow in the wind.


Over the last several days the weather has turned quite cool and the nights feel like fall even though the official calendar still tells us it's considered summer here in Michigan. Once September hits we call it fall, but the cooler days usually don't hit until later in October. The rain has fallen off and on making it damp and just not nice to be outside.

As I look outside my front window where there is a soccer field I see all the little boys in their football gear practicing "rocket" football. Rocket football is for the little guys grades 3 on up. I love seeing them all pumped up acting like the big guys. They clap, hit, run, and stomp acting all grown up. It's just fun to sit and watch them every year.

I can't believe its September already. I'm longing to somehow bring August back. The month came and went taking me by surprise. Things got busy with Alicia moving home. Jenna injured her arm causing her to give up her senior year of tennis. We need the warm days of August to take some senior pictures. It's our last daughter needing senior pictures. No more little pigtails and ribbons. She was so cute with her little pink and blue jacket. Now she is so beautiful and almost eighteen years old. Where did August go?

I love fall more than any other season because the colors in Michigan are glorious, but I'm longing to bring August back.

Jenna, my sweet Jenna...I love you! I love what lies ahead for you. Your future is very bright. I will always long for the days when you sat on my lap and we sang songs together. Jenna, beautiful Jenna, you're the one the only one that I adore. I will cherish this year with you.


Momma Roar said...

I'm so glad you've found healing in recovering your posts and in reading/reflecting on them!


Mari said...

I'm so glad you got to retrieve those posts! It's a good thing we don't know what's ahead and are able to take it day by day!

Dawn said...

I need to take the time to go back and read the 5+ years - I lost all the pictures the first 2 or 3 years because when I had to go private, I panicked and deleted Flickr, which took all the pictures off the posts - so so sad. Irretrievable. I'm so glad you got yours back, with or without pictures!

Just Mom said...

And one day, you'll even look back at this post and see how much farther you and your daughters have come.

So glad you have your blog posts back. :-)

Sylvia said...

So very glad you have your old thoughts and feelings back in writing again. Great for you, and now you know why we all appreciate your blogs so much - your insight and honesty and realism and fun and spiritual truths :)

Karenkool said...

I take courage with what you've said here. Terry and I have also been through a lot with parenting and our own personal struggles over this past decade. I feel like we've certainly made it to the other side of the valley and planted our flag as well. Love that word picture. We still have quite a long ways to go, and many more valleys before all of our kids step over into adulthood. And this week hasn't NOT been a "flag planting" week!!! Its something to look forward to, though.

Yay for being able to retrieve the former posts.