May I be all that and much more

 My gram and me ~ 1960

 My mom and me ~ 1960

Growing up I never once thought about what it meant for my grandmother or my mother to be moms.  I never gave a single thought as to how they viewed their lives or if being a mom and grandmother made them happy.  I never had to think about it because I knew from the very depths of my heart that being a mother and grandmother were the number one most important things in their lives.

As a child I remember vividly my grandmother's bible always being on her kitchen table or close by.  Her day began first of all with the Lord before she faced whatever task was hers.  It made an impression on my heart that her values were strong and good.

My mom was and is the most selfless person I know when it comes to her kids.  Not once in my life did I feel like my mom put herself before me and my brothers.  It was just a fact that her kids were her life.

I'm pondering a lot these days.

I miss my grandmother just as much as I did 14 years ago when she left this earth.  I miss her tender and caring heart.  She was the one person that I went to when I needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.  I loved seeing her cater to my 3 little girls as she lead me to believe they were her very favorite great grandchildren even though she had many and each one was a treasure to her.

As a girl and even into my teens my mom was my best friend always.  She never let me down and made sure I felt secure and valued by her in all ways.

Yes, I'm pondering.

Was I a good enough mom?  Will I make a good grandma?

You know, my mom never played games with me.  She never crafted or loved cooking and baking.  Often we think these are the things that make a great mom.  For me it's something far deeper.  It was her undivided attention and unfailing love for me.

Although I never played Scrabble until I was 50 and I never realized all of the ingredients in the world to make amazing food I did know deep down in my heart the a mom's love was constant.  If I needed her she she would drop everything to be there for me.

My memories of my grandmother were a bit different.  She was an outstanding cook.  Her baking was hard to beat. She could sew and crochet beautifully.  She loved to read books to me as a child and to my children when they were big enough to sit on her lap.  Still the most important thing I remember about her was her heart.  To me it was as big as the world and she made me feel as though I filled every corner of it.

And so I ponder.

Will my daughters remember me like I think of my mom?  Will my grandchildren smile as they grow and think of their grandma as the best in the entire world.

I pray daily that I am a mother to be praised and a reflection of two amazing women who have graced my life and both "did it right
!" 

Thank you Lord for the blessing of my godly grandmother and mother.  Thank you for the memories I have as a little girl of being a treasure to both of them.  I ask you Lord to make me into the woman that reflects You in all things.  May my legacy be one of love beyond measure for each child You have given me and hopefully someday to many little ones to come.